Author: seemareza

Sometimes You Keep It In

Sometimes when I had a problem, my mother would recite this little ditty: For every problem under the sun, there is a solution or there is none. If there is one, seek and find it; if there is none, never mind it. It was completely infuriating. At least tell me which kind of problem this is!…
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Motives

I spent a disproportionate amount of time trying to get that picture to look like a VC Andrews book cover–first getting everyone to pose with serious faces, then trying to edit it to look stretched and over-contrasted in an oval frame.  Eventually I settled on this. Did you ever read Flowers in the Attic or My…
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Unpacking the Intro

I know I JUST posted a few days ago, and you wonderful subscribers get this shoved into your inbox whenever I hit publish. I try to be conscious of that with posting and frequency. But I want to tell you two things. Anyone who’s been in a writing group with me–hospital or otherwise–knows the introduction…
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Dictionary

This week, I put the suitcase away for the month of May.  Which is pretty dazzling and exciting.  I have been looking forward to having a Saturday to myself to read and write and drink coffee and move slowly, the way I can only when I know there will be another unclaimed Saturday on the horizon.…
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Weeks Go By

Sometimes it feels like so many things happen in the seven or eight days between these posts I can’t decide what to write.  It’s a Combat Paper/Warrior Writers week and I’ve been swimming in so much love and community–lots of affirmations and old jokes and new jokes, old friends and new ones. I was in Logan, Ohio for…
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Being Done

Did you ever take chemistry?  I did.  I worked really hard at it, and got really good at it.  I felt so incredibly satisfied when I overcame the I can’t do this and it clicked in my head and made sense.  Equation after equation, I understood it all–even helped other people with it.  And as it…
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Guilt&Panic

Erica Jong writes, in Fear of Flying: “You don’t have to beat a woman if you can guilt her.” I have repeated this quote at least three times in the past two days.  I have said it in other ways too–in apologetic emails that I’ve replied to later than I’d like, in the way my breath…
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Holy

A few weeks ago, I watched my son fly down a hill on his scooter, one leg hovering, smiling wide from a really deep place.  That can’t-contain-this-joy sort of smile. Watching him, I remembered so clearly in my body and heart the feeling of riding down this one particular hill on my bike in the neighborhood I…
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Sixteen

This week I celebrated sixteen years of motherhood.  My son and I spent a few days together, traveling in California, eating sandwiches in the car, making up jokes, circling around in conversation to the same things and taking selfies in stupid places (my idea, always my idea).  As we were driving and singing along, the Pacific Ocean…
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Playlist (and boogers)

I have been thinking lately about planting good memories.  Or rather triggers for good memories.  We know how it works with bad memories–certain smells or sounds or little gestures appear and transport us to some terrible thing for a moment.  And often it takes a lot of our energy to recover.  But I’ve been wondering about…
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