Preparing the Kids

My friend Renee Olander has a gorgeous book that’s just come out, and she mailed me these beautiful cards with the cover on one side and a poem, “Scared of Devils” on the other side.

When I was a kid, I was very conscious of my parents’ mortality. Perhaps more than normal. I’d check if they were breathing in the middle of the night. I couldn’t imagine a worse thing. I knew it was going to happen. I was surprised anyway, when my father did die. Earlier this summer I had a Big Tearful Fight with my mom about how she’s always talking about her own death and how it’s made me more morbid than I ought to be. It was a bit melodramatic (both the way she talks about her death, and the Big Fight I embarked upon). I’ve learned that not everyone’s parents do this quite the way mine did. But we do have to make plans and prepare our kids.

Anyway, the prompt is: how did your parents/caregivers prepare you for their deaths? Or if they didn’t, what is the absence of that conversation like? How does your family manage to avoid it altogether?