Regrets

The prompt was regret and it led me in so many directions that I’ll certainly need to explore.

The feeling of your uncalloused hand around mine is
A strong enough memory to withstand direct examination
But I can’t remember the last moment I saw you alive,
can’t really remember the moment you walked out the door,
down the steps away from the house that was choking me.
Months before, you were there the day I got this job,
When I returned with the free company mug
I gave it to you. Neither of us knew then
That this first step towards loosening the knot
would change the course of my life
And by turning me away from my marriage
Would turn you away from me
I regret that you didn’t get to meet me again
When I was able to take off the armor I needed
To wear through all those years, now that I
Can finally cry and love and forgive again like I did
when my hand was small enough to fit in yours.